Last week there was a box of cookies sitting on my dresser. These weren't just any cookies. These were Cutler's brownie mint cookies. Food of the Gods. This isn't something that makes a regular appearance at our house. (Most likely because it doesn't make it that far from the drive-up window!)
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| A picture of the beloved cookie. Sadly, that is not my kitchen this pic was taken in! |
Anyhow, this particular box of cookies was not for public consumption, and yet the public decided to consume it anyway, and then lie their way out of it.
By "public" I mean Ms. Els.
When I noticed around 7:30 p.m. that each cookie only had like a 1/8 sliver left of it I began questioning the masses. Most looked at me with a genuinely baffled expressions. They were also a bit angry that they hadn't known about the cookies, and people who have just eaten a cookie are not angry. So, I believed them that they hadn't partaken.
(Side note: Now I know how my mom always knew when I was lying. 'Cause liars look like liars!!!)
Ms. Els, being the sneaky little trickster that she is, took herself off into the shadows of the stair case before the inquisition began, thus successfully hiding her face - and it's liar-like expressions - from my view.
I asked her three times. Thrice she denied any involvement in the thievery. Only when I decided to punish the entire populace of my home, and the weeping and wailing had begun, did she fess up. Even then, her confession was lacking in truth: "I'm pretty sure I just took one bite."
In this I will throw her a bone. When one is caught up in the raptures of Cutler's brownie mint it is quite easy to begin gnawing away at it, in a trance-like state, and come to only to find you've consumed two cookies without even taking a breath.
Regardless. She stole the cookies and she lied about it. She was sent to bed. Two hours early.
When I walked her up to "tuck her in" she asked for a piece of paper on which she could compose an apology. I didn't want her stinky apology, so I denied her last request before jailing her.
Not long after this a sad little piece of paper made it's way down to me, via Grandpa, with her angst filled apology. I wish I had a picture of it to post here, but alas I don't. I can tell you though that it said something like this:
"Dear Mom,
I don't really know what happened. I saw the box of cookies on your dresser and I tried not to take one. But I couldn't resist, and I ate them.
Love your daughter who hates herself,
Ms. Els"
Dramatic much? Although I can understand her sentiments, because I often have a self-hate moment when I see how many Cutler's brownie mints I've eaten too. But, I don't believe that was the angle she was working when she wrote that.
I allowed her to stay in bed and wallow in her misery.
Late into the night I was awoken by our little lady only to be informed that she'd been vomiting up brownie mint. It was so rough that she'd actually just made a bed of blankets in the bathroom and was sleeping there.
The next morning she obviously stayed home from school, and was miserable with a stomach ache.
When I had quiet moment her and I discussed her decision to lie to me, and she said, "I think Heavenly Father is punishing me for lying by making me sick."
Friends, this was a critical moment for me. On the one hand I don't want her to grow up believing that we worship a vengeful God who punishes little girls when they make a mistake. On the other hand.... I think you know that a part of me was all for letting her think that. Ha ha.
In the end I said, "Well, while I don't believe that Heavenly Father works that way, on the off chance that you're right, is lying worth it?"
She shook her miserable little head and said, "No. It's not!"
It turns out I didn't need to punish her at all. Whether it was God, karma or just the 4th grade stomach flu, I don't think she'll be stealing any of my cookies and lying about it again....
This year.
