Animal Lovers

People, people, people.  People.  I don't mean to be a Scrooge, or a Grinch, or just a plain old rude butt jerk, but seriously, this obsession with your furry pets has got to end. 

Now, I get that life can be lonely sometimes and that having a furry object to love and cuddle can be a great boon to people who would otherwise be sad.  But... they are not people.  You don't need to grocery shop with them, take them to the movie theater and subject the general public to them.

The other day I saw an extremely large parrot on the shoulder of a grocery shopper while I was out.  Seriously.  No one wants to buy the orange your parrot just turded on!  Let's not even start on the trail of feathers being left behind like bread crumbs so you can find your way back to your car.  And the squawking.  Good heavens, if I wanted to be in a poop filled, screeching noise, feather strewn situation I'd be sitting at home with my kids and the feather boas that looked fun at the time!

Yesterday, while I was innocently in yet another grocery store, some fur lovin' fool parked next to me in the parking lot, apparently forgetting that sometimes people need enough room to re-enter their cars after grocery shopping.  This can be particularly stressful for those of us who are carrying a little extra in their baby belly. 

As if that wasn't bad enough, he had a giant dog in the passenger seat and had left the passenger window completely rolled down.  Not cracked.  All the way down.  This put me and Killer on eye level as a staring contest began.  See, I couldn't get in my car while he had his head sticking out of the window.  The quarters were too close and I didn't want to get my face licked, or bitten off.  I didn't know the overall mood of this dog.  I've occasionally faced similar situations where the dog was feeling protective of his vehicle and lunged at the car window when I went to get into my car.

So, take your dog along, but roll up the bloody window a bit more, please.

Perhaps my favorite dog related incident was last spring when I saw a lady jogging down a main street in my fair city pushing a jogging stroller.  As I got closer I realized that she was not pushing a human in that stroller, but rather a dog.  And this was no poodle my friends.  It was a large dog, perhaps a boxer or some such animal.  Dog was casually lounging while human did all the work.  Honestly.

Next, rodents.  Rodents such as hamsters, guinea pigs and rats are not really supposed to be hanging out at the local department store ogling strangers from the handbags of their caregivers.  It's freaky, it's wrong and, just, yuck!

What I don't understand is why we have a No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service sign on the door, but just any old Buster, Snowball or Georgie can pad on in with their tails wagging or feathers flapping and no one stops them.  You will never convince me that a hamster or a parrot is being used as a service animal.

If we're being honest, in some ways my children are like pets.  They need to be fed, sheltered and add to my overall feelings of contentment.  But they can be yappy and snarly and a distraction to other shoppers.  This is why I do my best to leave them home.


And when I do leave them in the car to wait for me you can bet I don't leave the windows down {ha}.