This fact is very important to the tale I tell you today. This winter has to be one for the record books. In truth, the school district has had the first snow day called in 13 years. Us Utahns don't worry much about snow, so for us to be whining means it's bad.
Or... turns out we are actually whiners.
Whichever, really.
So, I present to you two photos to illustrate my point.
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| Exhibit A. Ms. Els standing in the snow bank next to our driveway. Snow up to her bum. |
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| Exhibit B. The Hubs on our back deck with his icicles of death, snow almost up to his bum. |
During these perilous, and highly annoying, times I have witnessed both amazing resourcefulness and shocking stupidity. And both of these moments in time involved an umbrella.
I used to think an umbrella was only for keeping dry. Perhaps a second use would be to provide shade. But other than that, I didn't think the simple little gadget had much else to offer.
Until Winter 2013, when my eyes were opened.
I don't really have space or time to tell you both tales right now, so I'll just wet your appetite with the tale of stupidity. Because, really, there's nothing more enjoyable to me in the mornings than other people's pain. Let me paint you a picture.
The elementary school that my daughters attend is on Main Street. Really let the name of the street sink in. MAIN STREET. As in the MAIN thoroughfare through town. As in if you do something stupid on MAIN Street then a great percentage of the community will see it.
If you manage to do such a thing I really feel like doing it during the school rush at 8:40 a.m. is a great idea. See, with all the snow and ice and toxic air, the majority of kids are getting rides to school. Add a crosswalk across Main to the mix and you have a big honker of a line leading to the school. Several blocks.
Don't lose your cool, people. Just go idle speed and we'll all be fine. Or, do lose your cool and offer the rest of us some entertainment while we wait.
Thank you blue Acura driver for doing just that this morning.
I don't know what caused her rash choice, but my guess is she was tired of waiting and wanted to try another route to get "downtown". All I know is that suddenly from about 6 or 7 cars ahead of me I saw this streak of blue try to flip a "U". A speedy U.
Under normal weather conditions she totally would have made it. But we've had one heck of a winter and the roads aren't as wide as usual. Also, the snow banks are high, as illustrated by my pic of Els above. Keep in mind that that pic of Els was taken after the FIRST storm. We've had many more since and the piles on street corners are over the tops of mailboxes!!
So, our grumpy and rash friend flipped a super speedy U straight into a corner snowbank. And she got stuck. Bad. Like the front wheels of her car were off the road and just spinning in the air. I can't tell you how much delight I found in this situation. My kids can. They got to hear my laughter.
Also, she managed to be blocking both a portion of Main Street and a portion of the residential side street feeding onto Main.
Truly, my hat's off to her!
Now, after spinning and turning and doing the old drive, reverse, drive, reverse dance she wasn't going anywhere. So she flipped her car door open and feet dangling - seriously, dangling - she jumped out of her car and began digging around her bumper. She was luckily wearing jeans, so when she had to step into the snow bank past her knees she was clothed for the adventure.
And what trusty tool was she using to dig fruitlessly? That's right. An umbrella. A closed up umbrella.
I don't know how her tale ended. In the five minutes or so that I was able to stare shamelessly she made very little progress. Turns out that umbrellas don't make great shovels, even in an emergency.
Who'd have thunk?!
Too bad she'll be late to her destination after all.
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