A Better View

So, in a follow up to my last post, The Hubs and I decided to make some changes to our family's sleeping arrangements.   We moved the girls upstairs to "Joely's" room and moved the boys together into the "nursery".  It's squishy and crowded... and somehow cozy.

Yes, it was a bit of a juggle.  And the first night Ms. Els came down to tell my that her new room is really warm.  Wh...??!!  I gave her the stink eye and she said, "Never mind... goodnight."  Good little lamb!

But here is what it comes down to...

All joking aside, one of my jobs as a mom is to make sure my kids feel safe.  And even though sometimes my gut reaction is to suggest that they "put on their big girl (or boy) panties and deal with it", I could learn a thing or two by showing more compassion and empathy.

I was 11 when I got my own room and was no longer on the same floor as my parents.  I remember feeling scared a time or two.  No, I didn't go running to my parents.  But that isn't my personality.  I've always been somewhat self contained in that respect.

But I can't expect Ms. Els - or any of my other three hooligans - to see life through the same lens that I do.  They are individuals.  Their emotions are valid.  Even if I don't understand them, that doesn't give them any less value.  That's not always an easy thing for me to process.

I'm trying to remember to not see them as extensions of myself.  While they were carried in my womb and given life by Hubs and I, it's more true to say that they came "through" me and arrived as a whole person, completely separate from me, ready to experience life.  Pretty amazing.

While thinking about this I heard someone say that life is always easier when we are focused outside ourselves.

I know I could benefit from thinking less about the frustrating affects that motherhood can have on my life.  Rather than thinking about how big a hassle it was to spend an entire Saturday rearranging bedrooms, I can think about the fact that I've shown Ms. Els through my actions that her needs and worries are important to me.  I've also shown my other children that we can all pull together and work for the benefit of one family member who needs an extra season of comfort.  

I hope they understand that when it's their turn, we'll work just as hard to take care of them too.

Snuggly Kiddos

I don't think for a moment that there won't be absolutely ridiculous moments (or hours, or days, or weeks), where I'll forget my resolve and have a meltdown moment.  Nor do I believe that I'll suddenly stop having the desire to read a novel rather than make dinner.

But maybe, just maybe, if I can try to see my life through the lens of serving those I love, then my view of life will be that much better.

I'm willing to try.  And I may not even need chocolate to get through this one!