Never Say Never

I should really learn to take the saying

"Never Say Never"

to heart.

Due April 12, 2011.

I'm trying to understand why it is that pregnancy throws me back to adolescence.

The acne, the mood swings, the wanting to sleep the day away.

However, under all the surprise, fear, anxiety and illness is the realization that there was a time in my life when I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to have babies. It took us a long time to get that ball rolling. And now I'm pregnant with my fourth.

So, even though I feel lousy and unsure, I'm grateful for the mini-miracle that each of my pregnancies has been.

That said:

If it's a boy we shall call him Finito.

If it's a girl we shall call her Oopsie Daisy.

(But not really!)

The Do-Si-Do's of Life

We recently moved our two girls down to a bedroom in the basement. "Luckily" for us, our basement flooded this summer and we had the "opportunity" to redo it. So we repainted and made our junk-hoarders room 'o delight into a bedroom.

The girls love it. They feel so free and big. And I love that it happens to be directly next door to the playroom, which means the chaos is centralized. Sa-weet!

Anyhow, their first night downstairs was this past Tuesday. Wednesday morning they were dragging as I woke them to get ready for school. (So was I. School mornings stink. Now I remember!) I wasn't terribly surprised. I figured it would take a night or two for them to settle in and get used to their new digs. Also, they are no longer bunked up and can see each other. Pick-a-little, talk-a-little.. you get the idea.

What did catch me by surprise was what they were actually doing that kept them up all night.

Me: Did you guys stay up too late talking in your new beds?

Ms. Els: Kind of. But, we were just so excited to be in our new room that we kept getting out of bed and do-si-doing around the room.

Me: (Stifling a giggle!) You were do-si-doing? Like with your arms hooked skipping around?

Ms. Els: Yep. It was fun!

When is the last time that I was so happy about something that I couldn't help but leap out of bed, hook my arm with someone else, and do-si-do about the room?

Sometimes in the middle of laundry, dishes, fights, errands and tears it's really hard to remember that life is filled with little things worth doing a jig about.

My kids are healthy. (Swing your partner!)

My husband has a job - and I just started one. (Do-si-do! )

By some miracle my cars continue to run. (Promenade!)

There's always food in our tummies and clothing on our backs. (Do-si-do!)

The next time I start to forget about the important things, I'm going to hook arms with someone and skip around the room until I remember just how good life really is!

And if you're lucky, that someone might be you!

A Vinyl Intervention

I just spent the past weekend on a little get away with my gal pals. It's an annual tradition and I love it for many reasons. But this year my friends proved to me that it's more than just a giggly, sugary, card-playing festival of joy. It can also be a time to stage an intervention when needed.

My friends had all read my past blog about vinyl people stickers and my personal view on the dangers of placing them on your car.

My friends must have been worried about my level of cold hard judment and wanted to humble me and remind me that you can't judge until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes. What can I say? I'm the black sheep amongst those angelic ladies. (Excuse me while I control my laughter)

So, unbeknownst to me, they found a vinyl "Mom" sticker and placed it on the rear window of my car while I was either napping or gorging myself on round 42 of Laurie's brownies. My point is that they were stealthy.

Here is what I found when I went to go home on Sunday morning:

Okay, I laughed and maybe said a naughty word. But then I decided to rise to the challenge and leave it on for the drive home. Who knows, maybe I'd feel differently upon actually experiencing the joy of letting the world know I'm a mom.

Yep. I felt ridiculous. I may as well have replaced my head with a big block of swiss cheese - swiss because not only is it "cheesy", but it has holes in it.

Also, I feel very blessed that I was able to ditch that van load of dirty old men who were attracted by my "Mom" sticker and wanted to check out my curves.

The sticker was removed within about 10 minutes of me being home. So, it turns out I was right. Those stickers are lame.

Just sayin'.....

Vinyl Abductions

Okay people, I've dusted off my soap box and firmly planted my feet on it. I can stay silent no longer.

What the criminy is up with those stupid vinyl stick people that everyone is putting on the back windows of their cars? It's ridiculous. I should insert here that my beef with said stickers has very little to do with the fact that I think they're super cheesy. I'm not going to stop people from looking like 12 year-old girls if they want to. My beef is the safety issue.

As a parent I've been warned and warned about not putting my kid's names on their backpacks, shirts, jackets or whatever because it can be used against them by the wacko's of the world.

Yet these same parents that would never monogram their children's attire are driving around with a glaring sign on their cars saying "Hey all you dirty pervs, if you follow me this is what you'll find at my home!"

Those nasty child predators can not only see how many kids you have, but their genders, basic ages and even a little special interest that child may have. Some idiots - not too strong a word - even go so far as to print the names of children on the car. Seriously??!!

While I understand that all parents have the same goal to keep their children safe and happy, I have to wonder how this fad ever took off. Why has no one thought of this as a problem before? All you mom's lined up at the school with your window clings are like a smorgasbord for those perps lurking across the street. Which car looks most promising?!

For those who do have window clings, well, what can I say? If you notice a strange car following you, you may just want to avoid going home for a while. And once it is safe to go home, take a razor blade to those stickers.

The End.

Monkey See. Monkey Do.

You know how as a parent you're supposed to be a good example and act how you want your children to act?

That is such a bummer!

Lately I've been especially intrigued with the fact that my kids cannot be made to care about things that have no immediate affect on them. They just don't care. Really. This is very, very bad.

Last week we shared a bit of news with our children. I was expecting an excited response. What I got from 4 year-old, world-weary Cadie Lu was this: "Yeah. I don't really care."

To me that sounded an awful lot like the echo of, "Sorry, sweetie. When I'm done doing the dishes, folding laundry, screaming at your sister, working, changing this diaper, whipping up dinner, then I'll work up the energy to pretend to care about what you're saying."

It was a harsh reality check. Apparently if I don't care about what they have to say, they'll return the favor when I'm trying to share. Monkey see and monkey do.

Lest you think that was my big moment of reflection, I present to you an even harsher moment. When I asked my 6 year-old what her favorite thing to do with me is, her reply was a confused face and "You don't really do anything with us."

Ouch.

Of course, I wanted to reply with this little zinger: I'm too busy doing things FOR you to do anything WITH you.

But,alas, childhood doth fly by...blah, blah, blah.

In the end I suppose I'm going to want to send them out the door equipped to deal with the world at large. And the sad truth is that about 85% of the things people tell them are going to be mind-numbing and tragic. And they are going to have to dig deep, paste a smile on and learn to pretend to care.

And sometimes, they're going to have to not only serve people, but get involved with people in things that are no fun, just so that someone knows they're important to them.

I also suppose that I'm going to have to give them an example of this at home.

Oh, bother. Here goes nothing...

Total Guarantee

Earlier this week I was sitting in my sunny living room reading an entertaining novel while snuggled up with a cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips.

A few minutes into my reading I heard one of the many much-dreaded noises of mothers everywhere. Running water and whispering voices in the kitchen. I was alarmed, but not alarmed enough to get off the couch, so I loudly inquired about what was going on.

"We're getting some water for our boat to float in." Ms. Els replied, while Cadie Lu continued to speedily fill a bowl with water before I cut them off.

I loudly sighed in the universal sign of I-have-no-desire-to-deal-with-this and I-should-let-my-kids-have-fun. Recognizing the sigh, and that I was torn in my response, Ms. Els quickly jumped in with:

"Mom, you have my TOTAL GUARANTEE that we won't make a mess."

Faced with such a strong arument, I was forced to cave and let the water play commence. Also, I wanted to see how this Total Guarantee played out.

It flopped like a fart in church.

I went into the kitchen a while later to find about 52 soaking wet towels on the counter and kitchen floor. The boat, 5 different water bowls (apparently they were lake hopping) and various Polly Pockets were all spread about. The culprits had fled the scene and moved onto more lucrative mess making opportunities.

I called Ms. Els back to cash in on her Total Guarantee.

"Uh, Els, what happened to your Total Guarantee?" I asked.

"Cadie Lu happened." She replied with all sincerity. Nicely played.

"Well, since you made the guarantee you're going to have to clean it up." I stated.

She did so grudgingly. As I watched her schlepping wet towels down to the laundry room I couldn't help but think of that line from Tommy Boy where Chris Farley's character says something like, "I can stamp a guarantee on a box of crap, but it's still a box of crap."

I'm hoping this will teach her that you can't throw guarantee's around willy-nilly unless you're willing to back it up.

It's like I always say... keep expectations low, make no promises, and you will succeed. Of that you have my Total Guarantee.

I AM A MOTHER

I'd rather be a mother than anyone on earth
Bringing up a child or two of unpretentious birth...
I'd rather tuck a little child all safe and sound in bed
Than twine a chain of diamonds about my [carefree] head.
I'd rather wash a smudgy face with round, bright, baby eyes
Than paint the pageantry of fame or walk among the wise.
~ Meredith Gray


Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I've learned, to my sorrow
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.
~ Author Unknown

If we stop to think about what we do, really do, we are building for the centuries. We are building character, and tradition, and values, which meander like a river into the distance and out of our sight, but on and on and on.
~ Anna Quindlen