Tis the Season

Most people refer to the months of November and December as “The Holiday Season”. Not so for us. For us, those two months comprise “The Birthday Season”. Between the Hadley and Ridges families, there are 10 birthdays in those two months.

Perhaps you would find that number more dramatic if I tell you that there are only 25 people that make up those two families. This means that almost HALF of our birthdays are in those two short months.

So this year, as the birthday season is in full swing, I am sending a petition out to my family members. Please… make it stop! I am begging you to use two, three… heck FOUR… forms of birth control to prevent this from continuing to snowball.

In an attempt to clear things up for those of you still in the “birthing years”, here are the months in which you absolutely MUST not conceive. February and March. Those months are completely out. Yes, I know that this may ruin some of your romantic plans for Valentine’s Day. Sorry. I don’t know what else to say. You’re just going to have to face the reality that sometimes we sacrifice for the common good! I might add that post-children you won’t be having any fun on Valentine’s Day anyway….

Other months that you may want to avoid in order to keep a firm buffer zone would be January and April. No “cold winter nights”! Buy a nice electric blanket and a body pillow!! As far as celebrating Easter goes… well… the Easter Bunny will just have to leave you some nice ice-chips or something for Easter, because it isn’t worth the risk.

That said, to those of you who have birthdays during these months: Please don’t think I wish you’d never been born. That would just be mean – and I try to reserve those types of sentiments for cashiers at Walmart who think I want to know their whole life story.

I will admit that having all of these birthdays does add to the giddy feeling of the holidays. There are some more concrete bonuses as well:

1 - I am a huge fan of being able to engage in extra shopping during this celebratory time without my hubby throwing a fit.
2 - We don't have to plan a family Christmas party because we are already seeing each other weekly.

3 - I can skimp on your Christmas gifts because I just gave you a birthday present... oops... did that slip?

4 - There is an endless supply of helium to be sucked and Chipmunk Christmas songs to be sung.

In keeping with my weak reslove to not be the biggest hypocrite in America, I will take responsibility for the two birthdays that I contribute to the season. Although, technically Steve’s birthday is not my bad. So, I guess one birthday.

As we embark on yet another year of back-to-back celebrations, I am looking forward to one more season of failed attempts at dieting.

Let the cake and ice-cream binge-fest begin.

P.S. Happy 6th Birthday to my sweet Eliana on November 14th. Love you Button!