Mother's Day

In honor of Mother's Day I've scrounged together some quotes that made me giggle.  After all, all mother's know that it's either laugh or cry out there!  And you need a serious sense of humor to plug on through.

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. - Ogden Nash

It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money. - Elinor Goulding Smith

If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent. - Bette Davis

Children seldom misquote you. They more often repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. -Mae Maloo

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease. - Lisa Alther

Do not, on a rainy day ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching. - Fran Lebowitz

The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. - James Fenton

And last, but not least, I dedicate this little gem to the woman who raised me.  She who faced down the daily grind with much laughter, who greeted us in the mornings with chipper smiles and silly songs despite our constant begging for the music to die.  To the woman who rocks out to the Morman Tabernacle Choir, who keeps attempting to inject some spirituality into our family and who has no sense of direction no matter how hard she tries....

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing women in my life.