In My Free Time Dreams

Funny how when I was the same age as these guys…

I thought holidays were about fun, candy, time spent with family, games, candy, sunshine and happiness. 

Now I know the truth.  Holidays are about dishes, sweeping and mopping

Today while I was sweeping for the 192nd time I started daydreaming about what I would do with all my free time if I didn't have to sweep any more.  In no particular order, here are some of the ways I'd spend my free time:

I'd buy a giraffe, saddle train it and ride the days away enjoying the beauty of nature.

I'd ride a hot air balloon to the top of a high mountain and drop water balloons on all the foolish people actually hiking the trails. 

I'd assign my children well thought out nicknames, such as Meat Brick.

I'd install a lift kit on my minivan and drive over the people holding up the carpool lane.

I'd wander various Walmarts looking for more people to add to PeopleofWalmart.com

I'd breed beaver-ducks.  (Okay, that's a fancy name for platypus).

I'd become a rap star and go by the name Tweets Littlefoot.

I'd explain the difference to my son between Darth Vader and Thomas S. Monson (Oh yeah, he actually confused the two the other day!).

I'd finally master the Fushigi wonderball.  I'd be so good that David Bowie would come to me for an apprenticeship.  (Dance Magic Dance).

I'd figure out what's really going into fruitcake...mystery solved!

I'd would train aardvarks to train monkeys to train dolphins to help the Coast Guard with rescue missions.

I would insist my children learn to roller skate so that we can put on a family show of Xanadu. (My pride insists I admit that I've never seen that show.  But The Hubs and my in-laws assure me it's a gem.)

I'd purchase Antelope Island and built up the world's largest herd of free range chihuhuas.

I'd give The Hubs laser hair removal.  One… Hair… At… A… Time.  Oh wait, let's try to keep this list realistic!  Nobody has THAT kind of time!

Alas, I believe I hear crumbs falling on the floor right now.  So, back to the grind. 

Lay still, sweet dreams, for one day you'll be mine.