On that note, in an effort to help you kick off your new year in style and eliminate some stress I've decided to teach you a little trick I use to keep my kids from driving me nuts.
Do you ever get tired of the broken-record questions from kids?
"What's for dinner?"
"Where are we going?"
"What's that?"
"What are you doing behind that locked door?" or "Why is your door locked?"
and the always popular "Have you seen my _____?"
Well, I did get tired of them. And I'm still tired of them. BUT, with some creativity you can turn those questions into opportunities to annoy the annoyer. Sound too good to be true? Read on for some of my stellar examples.
Q: What's for dinner?
A: Elephant toenails.
Now, this will occasionally get them to resubmit their question, in which case you continue naming an animal and a body part you'd never really eat until they leave the kitchen in a huff. Some examples could be: Kangaroo teeth, beaver tails, rhino butt cheeks (The Hubs's fav). The list is endless.
Q: Where are we going?
A: I thought we'd drive until we get to the middle of nowhere. Then, when we get there we'll sit in a circle and stare at each other until we understand the mysteries of the universe. Good news, I have chap stick in case you get hungry.
Yes, I really did say that to my kids the other day in the car. And yes, they stopped asking silly questions.
Q: What's that? (In some cases you may actually want to answer that. But, let's say that all four of your children come to you one at a time with the same question... by number 3 you may want to get creative.)
A: Santa's beard.
As with the "what's for dinner" question, your possibilities are only as limited as your imagination. Some other's I've used are: T-rex eggs, the rear axle of daddy's car, an elf lawn mower.
Q: Why is your door locked? (I know some of you jumped to, let's say "lusty" conclusions. You'd be wrong. Ask The Hubs.)
A: Bathing my pet alligator, playing darts with Spider Man, filling Daddy's pillow case with shaving cream... Oops, the goal is to tell lies.
And finally, I understand that we mom's have a crystal ball with which we are able to magically locate any stray objects in the house. But some days I don't want to dust off my crystal ball. I just want them to stop losing their junk.
Q: Have you seen my ______? (Shoes, coat, gloves, doll, camera, brain.....)
A: Yes, I have. Just a few minutes ago a mouse came shooting through the room on his motorcycle and I'm pretty sure he was holding ______ in his hand.
I love this one. I makes them angry, which is my goal (wink, wink). Of course, you can go with the highly annoying answer my parents gave me: "Well, last time I used it I put it away."
UGH! I hated that!
However, even I occasionally have to use some of the classics from times gone by. Because everyone should hear at least once in their life that "It'll feel better when it stops hurting".
Best of luck to you my friends. Parenthood is like being thrown out of an airplane without a parachute. Now you at least have some material, so get to stitching.
2 comments:
This one needs a "love it" button! Lol.
All I can do is laugh and then print this off as a reminder as to what I do. Love you!
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