It's 10:45 p.m. on my 36th birthday. My sisters keep reminding me that I'm now on the downhill slope to 40....so thanks for that.
Although I've been slacking on the blog lately = BIG TIME = I wanted to take a moment tonight and wax nostalgic a little bit.
You see, when I really get to thinking about why I've stopped blogging, when I wipe away the excuses of "too busy", "nothing to share", "no one blogs much these days", I realize the truth of why I've stopped writing. I think the truth is that I have too much to share.
My 35th year of life was a doozy, friends. More went on in our household than most people know about. In many ways it was a year of suffering....physically, emotionally, mentally. And I think that part of me wanted to share it, to vent about it, and to have a place to put my thoughts down. But another, bigger, part of me was too overwhelmed by all that I was carrying, and I didn't know where to start, or IF to start.
So, here I am, 36. I am The Girl Who Lived.
Not only did I live, but I learned. And I grew. I stretched and bent and swayed. I grew some more.
I laughed, I cried, I loved.... I loved deeper and harder than I realized I could.
I prayed to love even more.
As I sit here eating my birthday sugar cookie, the house quiet with sleeping beauties, I want to make my birthday wish.
For my 36th year I wish....
To live more honestly. To stop telling myself that any choice I make will have no consequences. To stop lying to myself about the effects my choices make on others.
To love more. To be gentle with those in my world.
To keep laughing. Laughter is SO SO important. Mark Twain said, "Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand." Where there is laughter there is hope, and courage, and strength. Laughter can unite and comfort people.
To keep fighting for my children, my family, and the good life we have.
I can't wait to see what this next year brings. While I can't anticipate or change what the future holds, I can face it with determination and a sense of humor....
And I can LIVE!!!
9 years ago
1 comment:
Oh man, can I relate to this! I feel the same way about blogging, there's so much to share...but do I really want to, or where would I even start? But I love reading your blog, no matter what you share, and no matter how old you are (which is quite old, by the way). I'm glad you survived the year and are going to keep at it. :)
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