Practice Makes Perfect

Tonight was one of those perfect summer evenings. The baking heat of the day had passed and a light breeze was blowing as the kids and I sat on the front steps eating popsicles while Dad mowed the lawn. We like to support him by cheering on from the sidelines rather than leaving him outside all alone and unappreciated!
I was personally very much enjoying the silence that only happens when chattering mouths are blissfully full. I was thrilled to be NOT thinking about the many issues needing my attention. And then...

"You know, Mom, I've had a really busy day. I've been practicing being a genie all day...just in case." Of course I asked for a demo of her newly acquired genie skills. She really has been practicing to be a genie... if genies look like they're suffering from a grand-mal seizure while granting wishes.

But hey, who am I to burst her little bubble? Maybe she really will be a genie someday!

Now I'm thinking that I should start practicing being rich, you know, just in case. I'm going to go shopping, sit around while someone cleans my house, order room service and get a bazillion different spa treatments. It's gonna be awesome...


I mean, I AM going to have a genie for a daughter after all, and I need to be ready when the mountains of gold start rolling in!

Words, Words and More Words....

This morning my darling Cadie Lu informed me that she hates church. She said, and I quote, "I hate church. It's boring. All it is, is words, words, words, prayer, words, words, words, song, words, words words. And it's BORING!"

You know, she has a point. Church is a lot of words interspersed with occasional songs and prayers which send us from one place of words to another.

I myself have struggled with the boredom factor of church. I should probably feel more ashamed than I do when I admit that I've brought the Ensign magazine to church on occasion to read during a particularly boring group of words. Hey, at least it wasn't People or something!

I guess the trick is to try to keep your head up, eyes open and ears ready to hear the one or two words a week that have an impact on you. Sure, you may sit there for three hours listening to a lot of words that fall against your head like waves against a dam without really getting in.

But then some of that water finds a small crack in that brick wall you've built and it manages to leak in and saturate your mind.

It's those words that remind me of the really important things: Be nice and try your best.

Besides, Ms. Els knows that we're supposed to go to church on Sundays and there's no living with her when we miss it. Just sayin'.

Preschoolers For Peace

I do believe I've stumbled across a way to establish world peace. I hope you're as excited as I am! This is big news!

Next time there is a major conflict in worldwide relations - or next time some nation is being a real rude butt jerk - we should haul in a bunch of 4 year-olds to handle the situation.

I got the idea from listening to a conversation between 4 year-old Cadie Lu and her older, much victimized, sister Ms. Els.

Ms. Els had done something to annoy Cadie Lu and our volatile little preschooler hucked a toy in retaliation. The toy hit poor Ms. Els directly on the nose. She screamed out in defense of her smeller's well being and said that she was pretty sure it was broken.

Here is how our Nobel Peace Prize winner, Cadie the Hulk, responded.

Cadie Lu: Oh jeez, Els. It's not broken. No bones fell out or anything!
Ms. Els: You can't just go around hitting people on the nose!
Cadie Lu: Sure I can. That's what people do when they're mad. They just walk up and hit someone in the nose. And then that person hits them back in the nose. And then everyone is happy.

There you have it. Genius. No more long boring negotiations. No more novel-length peace treaties.

From now on, someone should just walk up to the offending official, punch them in the nose and then hug it out. No big deal.

Perhaps milk and cookies to wrap it all up.

What a wonderful world it will be.

Wisdom of the Ages

My grandparents have been in town for the past week and I've enjoyed listening to their stories about growing up, and waxing nostalgic for my own youth in the process.

I always have a great time with them and come away feeling lighter and very blessed to have such a great family.

That said, I must share with you a little gem I took away from Grandpa yesterday.

(Unlike most of my other pics, this is my actual grandfather.)

We were all sitting around shooting the breeze - which that branch of the family does with exceptional skill - and regaling each other with tales of adventure. (I realized this weekend that we are ALL cursed!)

I don't remember exactly what was said, but Grandpa made a comment to which my brave cousin, M, made a sassy remark.

What was Grandpa's loving and warmly fuzzied reply?

"M, if I want something out of ya, I'll slap it out of ya."

Ah, thanks for the laugh Grandpa. My sides still ache. 82 years old and going strong!! I hope to be just like you when I grow up.

For those of you who think I already harbor some similarity to my Grandpa, what with my often sassy or somewhat zingy replies, well, I can't help myself.

It's genetic.

Oh what do you do....

Oh.... what do you do in the summer time

when your Mom's a lazy bum?

Do you sit in a steam as you lazily dream

on the bed when it's still light at night?

Is that what you do? So do I!

Oh... what do you do in the summertime
when your Mom just wants to sleep?

Do you swim in a pool, to keep yourself cool,
or swing in a tree up high?

Is that what you do? Neither do I!

Oh.... what do you do in the summertime,
when your Mom is super mean?

Do you miss the parades, beg for lemonades,
or count all the times you cry?

Is that what you do? So do I!

Poem courtesy of Ms. Els and Cadie Lu

(Poor picked on victims of their mother's heat aversion,
who are convinced that despite all appearances,
this summer has been a bust!)

PS - None of these pictures are my children

Summer Time - EZ Livin'

Sorry peeps. I'm too busy having fun this summer to take time out to blog. Sure, my life is replete with blog-worthy happenings, but I'm tucked up on the couch with a novel and a cup of peanut butter m&m's and just can't get around to typing these things up.

But, since I know you care so much, I've squeaked out this moment in time to share with you some of the highlights of the past weeks of summer.

(My apologies, be aware that this got a bit lengthy....)

ONE:

Two weeks of swimming lesson h-e-** spent at the local Rec Center. Ms. Els accidentally ended up in the level 2 class and inadvertantly learned to swim the deep end. I can't decide if I'm grateful to the staff mess-up or frustrated. But hey, my kid can swim... so... WOOT WOOT!

Cadie Lu spent those same two weeks learning how to splash around and blow bubbles. Go figure.

I spent those two weeks sitting in a "pool" of my own sweat, make-up running down my face and hair pulled back into a bun while watching the instruction. The worst part is that I didn't loose any weight for my efforts.

TWO:

Took the kids camping over the 4th of July. The kids did fine. The dog did not. I pretty much want to sell him... but that's another post. Also, not a huge fan of the nifty drum circle someone organized at 1:00 am. I woke up and asked Steve if we'd accidently camped on the reservation. He replied that he was wondering if a war party was going to storm our campsite.

On that note, I'm starting to realize that I don't like camping as much as I should for someone whose name is 'Aspen'.

THREE:

We also managed to squeak in some July 4th celebrations with both sides of the family. We did a picnic at the park with Steve's side. It was fun and relaxing.

We did a bbq, water play and fireworks with my side. Looks like my kids are still afriad of fireworks. So I'm pretty stoked about wasting money yet again this year on fireworks that they end up watching from inside the house. Not to be a downer... but it's a pretty crummy tradition!

FOUR:

Been spending lots of time with my sister and her kids while they're between homes. (Left Texas, heading for Washington.) Loving that, along with the reminder of why I'm not too broken up about the fact I can't breastfeed. Just sayin'....

(My girls with two of my sister's girls. Cutie pies!)

FIVE:

Well, five is a secret... he he he.... Deal with it.

(No, for the love, not ALL secrets are about pregnancy!)

Happy Summer!

Parenting Gold Mine

You know what I love?

I love it when I stumble across a bit of parenting gold (aka genius) without any forethought. I'm just humming along and suddenly I do something so spectacular that it simply must be shared with the world.

Here is what happened to me today:

As with most days, today I was trying to juggle lunch-time with the extreme need my daughters have to play with their friends. Amid the juggle the girls finished their awesome lunch of waffles and pears (I threw that in because it's usually corn dogs and ketchup), and were gearing up to go play.

"Put on your shoes!" I shouted to the brick wall that is Ms. Els when friends are waiting.


All I heard was the slamming of a door. So, I opened said door and repeated my request that she put on shoes. In a whiny voice she replied, "Uh... couldn't you just get them for me?"

Usually I refuse to do these kinds of tasks, but seeing as the shoes were sitting next to my feet I agreed. I picked one up with my toe and threw it in her general direction. I did the same with the second shoe, but this one landed in a bush. A big, poky bush that is taller than I am and may house a colony of wee beasties. Oopsies!

"Oh, my bad." I smiled at her.

Now, here is the gold part. I heard her mutter to her friend, "I should have just gotten them myself!" as she dove into the gigantic bush to retrieve it.

Do you people realize the power I've just unleashed? I bet after a few more shoes launched into bushes she'll just start getting her own shoes, because it'll become obvious that asking mom just isn't worth it!!

I'm wondering where else I can use this new and delightsome technique? Maybe when they ask me to hand them a cup I'll spit in it first? Or drop their toothbrush in the toilet? Maybe when they ask me to get them a drink I'll make sure the water is always hot..... the possibilities are endless.

Someday I'll have these people whipped into independent shape. For now, though, I've got to go get that hornets nest out of Ms. Els's hair. Where could she have stumbled across that????