This past week my Mom and I decided to can applesauce. I’m blaming my over-achiever friends (you know who you are!) for making me think it’s normal to spend your autumn days sweating and swearing (in my head!) over canning. Every time I talk to them they mention how they were canning beans, peaches, apples, beets… all while saving abused animals and making quilts for cold children in Africa.
So, when the opportunity presented itself to make applesauce, I jumped at it. I couldn’t be the only one without a fruit to throw out during the Canning Competition Conversations!
Pride goeth before the fall. (Turns out, these adages have some truth behind them)
Monday night I heaved my bushel of apples (I say "mine" as though I actually picked them!) up to my parent’s house. I was pretty proud of my huge load and could only imagine how the entire counter would be full of gleaming, steaming bottles of golden-delicious applesauce!
Too bad it was about zero fun. Okay, that’s not true. Laughing with my mom was fun. Having my Dad help out was entertaining. Being alone with my parents for the first time since 1980 was also pretty great. Canning applesauce = big zero on the fun-o-meter.
My mom casually mentioned how canning food used to be a way of survival. She regaled me with tales about my great-grandparents spending days around an outdoor fire and canning their little hearts out. Then she said, “No wonder everyone died so young.”
And there you have it. Canning = stunted life expectation.
So, for all my friends who make me look like a failure, I now know the secret to a long and happy life. While you may have food in your cupboards, you’re going to be kicking it in about 20 years. I, however, will far surpass you in years, because my veins flow with Twinkie filling… and that has like a 100 year shelf-life ;)
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Just for your info: My bushel of apples made about 8 quarts of applesauce.
3 hours of canning = 8 jars of homemade applesauce
5 minutes at the local market, and an investment of $5.50 = roughly 8 jars of applesauce
7 comments:
If I were still in Utah I probably would have silently complained about having to can applesauce...but I must admit I'm jealous! And just because YOU are still there doesn't make you favorite daughter. Distance makes the heart grow fonder...so since I'm furthest, they love me the most.
Way to go Aspen!! You can join in the ranks!
Your writings totally made me laugh out loud. It made my day. I like canned applesauce. Once upon a time my mom used to do that. I just mastered frozen jam, so it will be a while before I venture to the hours of canning.
I totally agree! I canned applesauce ONCE about a hundred years ago and vowed never to do it again. It took hours, was messy, and I had so little to show for all my efforts. My entire kitchen was a sticky mess for months since I kept finding sticky spots I missed cleaning up. Buying it is cans or jars at the grocery store is just fine with me now. I must admit my homemade applesauce did taste fine! You crack me up! Keep writing.
Have you ever made dilly beans? They are soooo good. A few years go I decided to make them. I swear I had like 1000 bushels of beans, 900 hours of canning and 1 jar of dilly beans. Haven't made any since. Haven't eaten any either though.....
This sounds very familiar. A couple of years ago my MIL invited me over to can pickled beets, which I love. Mind you, this was before I had kids, so I was working full-time-plus at a fairly well-paying job (for Logan, at least). But, yes, I will give up my one day off a week, Saturday, to learn the womanly art of canning from you, my domestic-goddess-mother-of-eight-children MIL! We started the day at 8am by picking rows and rows of beets from the garden out back, then we rinsed them at the water pump outside, then we cleaned them more thoroughly at the sink inside. Then we boiled them in batches to soften them and loosen their skins. While they were boiling, we washed all the canning jars. As the beets emerged from their bubbly baths, we removed their skins, staining our hands magenta for weeks. Then we trimmed and/or sliced them, depending on their size, prepared the pickling ingredients, put the beets in the jars, poured the pickling juice into the jars, put the lids on, and put them in the water bath to seal. Over and over again, until all the beets were done.
So, this took about 8 hours total. If I had been at work, I would have earned about $150 in that amount of time. I ended up with a take-home of twelve small jars of beets. Approximate time and money outlay to buy same at store: 7 minutes and $12.00. Approximate outlay to just let my MIL give me some that she canned this year: $0. I think I've got this canning thing figured out.
You are one domestic diva...and you forgot to add your fall tole painting project that you worked on for one entire Saturday. I think you qualify to host an enrichment night.
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