Hadley Adventures

Back around the middle of September I accomplished what I am pretty sure is the biggest parenting coup of all time. A pet died and no one noticed. It was our "magically surviving goldfish". We'd had that sucker for almost 3 years. When I spent the 25 cents on that fish I was pretty sure it would live for a month. So I think we really got our money's worth.


Anyhow, said fish kicked it back in September and I just flushed him, put his bowl in the hall closet and put a porcelain doll on my girls' dresser where the fish had formerly resided. Nary a word was asked about Princess the fish. Oh, they noticed the new doll, but neither of them bothered to wonder where the fish had gone.

I blame the discovery on preschool. We were cruising along just fine until "F" day came up today and Cadie Lu needed to find something starting with an "F" to take to school for show-n-tell.

"I know!" She says with glee. "I'll take the fish!" Then she looks around for a minute and says, "Hey, wait a minute, where is the fish?"
Not one to be left out when the opportunity is ripe for drama, Ms. Els began scrunching up her eyes in an attempt to work up some tears. None came. In her best fake quivery voice she said, "Did my fish die Mom?"

"Yes." I replied.

"What? When? Why didn't you tell us?" She attempted to cry. Those eyeballs were dry as the Sahara dessert.

"A long time ago. And since you never asked I didn't tel you." I like to keep it real with my kids. No sugar coating stuff.

"What did you do with it?" Ms. Els was acting appalled, but her heart just wasn't in it. (I mean, really, it took her a month to notice. Obviously she wasn't BFF's with the fish!)

"I flushed it down the toilet." Another dose of reality. What? I should have lied?

This got the first honest reaction yet. "WHAT? You just flushed it? You should have at least buried it in the back yard!" Ms. Els let her jaw drop open for emphasis.

"Yeah!" Cadie Lu piped in. "And you should have put a sign over it that said 'Dead Fish' so we'd know where it was!"

Dead Fish? Nice. I can see she has a future career as a headstone wordsmith.

"I can't believe my fish is dead." Ms. Els whined.

"Oh jeez Els, it wasn't even your fish. When we got the dog you said the fish could be mine. And now I can't even take it for show-n-tell." Cadie Lu was more annoyed that Ms. Els tried to reclaim ownership than she was that her fish was gone.

"Hey, Mom, I know!" Cadie Lu managed to pull herself out of her grief. "Do we have any firetrucks? Firetruck starts with "F"!"

And with that our mourning period ended.

I feel better already!