Dear Mother Nature,
Oh, you are a slippery little devil indeed. I wonder how often you sit back and laugh at us mortals. You must giggle to yourself as you see our hopes dashed time and time again.
I barely survived the gangly-limbed, acne ridden, "Annie" hair days of adolescence by riding a flickering flame of hope for the brighter days of adulthood.
I made it painfully through the flaky dandruff, suddenly straighter hair, on acne medication days of young adulthood by slapping on foundation with a spatula and praying for the glory days of my 30's.
Now, here I am in my 30's. And I'm still looking at the pimply face and curly hair in the mirror each day and wondering what on earth is going on. I'm beginning to think you have a twisted sense of humor.
It would be fine if each season of life had one or two physical flaws to deal with. But no. You have tricked me by continually adding, but never taking away.
Not only do I have a whopper of a zit forming on my chin (Merry Christmas!), some dandruff on my hairline, and hair that doesn't know if it wants to curl or not, but now I'm seeing gray hair streaking along my temples. The "mommy pooch" was inevitable given the fact that I've birthed three children and refuse to exercise. I will concede that point.
However, couldn't we make a swap? I'll keep the mommy pooch and gray hairs. They can be my "badge of honor" (and humiliation). But I refuse to graciously accept acne!!
And, while I'm making requests, is there a reason I should continue to suffer with my monthly "flow" when I'm done having babies? Can't we just shut that thing down? It's not really doing anyone any good. Or, perhaps you're being sponsored by the Kotex company.... Hmmm.....
Anyhow, I just wanted you to know that if things don't smooth out by my 40's then I'm going to the top with my complaints. A girl can only hold out hope for so long before she goes ballistic.
Your Highly Unsatisfied Customer,
~ Aspen
3 comments:
I have way worse acne now than when I was a teenager. What's up with that. I take my daily acne meds each day and it's still here. In fact, a huge under-the-skin one is forming as we speak. I swear I was promised that the day I turned 18 all my acne would go away forever. Let's not even start on flow, who has done me no good in the 20 years (um, yes, seriously we are old) of visits.
Thanks for a great laugh! I agree with everything!
Tell me about it! A dermatologist once told me that my acne would clear up when I started having kids. Two kids later . . .
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